We might as well be strangers
by veronique2
Summary: My take on the infamous line of Alexander to Hephaistion you are nothing without me.
1. Chapter 1

I know you are waiting for my final chapter of Second chance and it will come soon, but before I wanted to share that first part of a short fic about the " you are nothing without me" unfamous incident. I hope you will like it.

VERO

Title: We might as well be strangers ½

Authors : veronique

Email address:kyomine2002yahoo.fr

Category:romance/angst

Pairing: Alexander/Hephaistion

Date:16/08/2005

Feedback: please, but if you don't like it, be constructive , I don't want to read sarcasm or snarks.

Archive: if you want I'm okay

Rating:nc 13

Disclaimer: I don't own them. They're characters belonging to Warner Brothers Pictures, to Oliver Stone, to my imagination, and to the ages. This is a work of a fan, done for no remuneration save the satisfaction of the work.

Special thanks to Rothalion ;) .

Summary: My take on the infamous line of Alexander to Hephaistion " you are nothing without me".

We might as well be strangers 1/2

Alexander was at work in his office. He had just finished drafting his new law concerning taxes when Eumennes, without knocking at the door, entered in quite panic. The intruder sighed deeply as he closed the door. Alexander looked at him somewhat surprised but not upset.

"Is there something wrong, Eumennes?"

"Sorry, Alexander, didn't have time to knock."

Alexander frowned, waiting for Eumennes' explanation. The secretary took a seat in a nearby chair and after sighing again, began.

"It's Hyacinthus! He is angry with me!"

Alexander laughed incredulously. "Are you telling me, Eumennes, that you are afraid of your own page?"

"It's not that! But, well Alexander, I've bedded him a few times and we had fun but yesterday he found me in bed with Calista and now, since this morning he is ranting about it continuously! He is so jealous! I feared that this might happen."

"What?" Asked Alexander, totally amused by the situation.

"That he'd fall in love with me! He said he wasn't but now, he can't bear to see me approach someone else! If someone is getting jealous because you bed someone else, it's because he is in love Alexander, you should know that! Especially you!"

Alexander smiled curiously.

"Why 'especially' me!"

"Hephaistion is your lover! I mean, come on now, excuse my honesty but we all..."

"Go on, Eumennes." Alexander prodded when he saw that Eumennes was hesitating.

"Well, Hephaistion leaps at anyone's throat in a blind fury if they threaten to besmirch his shinning pride; I can't imagine what you have to deal with in order to curb his jealousy after you bed some one other than him."

Alexander laughed. "Hephaistion has never played the role of a jealous wife, Eumennes." He sat up a bit straighter and shook his head. «Hephaistion knows his place and is secure in it.» Eumennes looked genuinely surprised. "What? I cannot even picture Hephaistion being jealous. That's as ludicrous as when Ptolemy complained that Hephaistion was chasing after Thais. Well, you look less than satisfied, what is it?" Said Alexander.

"Nothing" said Eumennes.

"No, you started it, finish it." Ordered Alexander but still in a friendly tone voice.

"It's just surprising that's all. I thought he was the kind of man to make a scene, after all it's natural to be jealous when you are so hopelessly in love. It's not pleasing to see the supposed love of your life in the arms of another, by the gods you'd think that the rumors alone would whip him into a jealous frenzy. Just look at Hyacinths!"

Alexander frowned, he didn't like where this discussion was going but he wanted to know more about what Eumennes was thinking.

"So, you would dare suggest to me that my Hephaistion does not love me because he isn't 'jealous' of Bagoas or my wives?"

"I didn't say quite that! I mean, you aren't jealous either when he ..."

"When he, what?" said Alexander who began to feel jealous at the mere thought of Hephaistion with some one than him.

"You hear the rumors… and I heard Drypetis was really pleased with her husband's ministrations as well ." Despite himself Eumennes smirked as he watched as Alexander began to squirm.

"I asked of him a son!" said Alexander very upset now and of course Eumennes noticed and took a twisted joy in it.

"See, you, The Great King Alexander, you too are even capable of jealousy"

" No, Eumennes, I am not!" he yelled back defensively.

"My king, you are a poor liar, you say one thing but your face is telling me the contrary."

"He doesn't love her and the others he never cared even a shred for. It was just sex for the sake of sex."

"Oh, how do you know? How can you be so certain?"

" I asked him." Stated Alexander resolutely.

"You sound like Hyacinthus, Alexander! It's the first thing he asked me after the Calista incident."

"I am not jealous..." Repeated, Alexander

"Did he ever asked you the same?" Eumennes cut him off.

Alexander thought a little bit before answering.

"No."

"What a cold hearted little bastard that Athenian is." Hissed Eumennes.

"Eumennes," said Alexander glaring at him to signify to watch his language. «Tread carefully here, man.»

"I'm sorry, Alexander, but honestly; in my world if you love, you are jealous if your lover are sharing the bed with others! It's only human."

"He told me once that he was jealous."

"Oh?"

"Yes, he was jealous of the world I wanted so badly, that is what he told me."

"Jealous of the world! By the gods Hephaistion is now an even greater mystery to me! I frankly don't know what you find to love in him, Alexander. I truly do not."

"Eumennes, we should stop, I know you don't appreciate him and I don't even know why I m telling you so much about something you obviously don't and will never understand!"

"What I understand my king, and I'm saying this for your own good because I worry for you, is that you made that man your chilliarch and he isn't even jealous about the other man who blatantly shares your bed! You should, Alexander, think about that."

"That is enough, Eumennes! I named him chillarch but it had nothing to do with his position in my heart! You, are insulting me! Get out!" Alexander was now openly furious.

"Thank you for hiding me from Hyacinthus, Alexander." said Eumennes "I didn't mean to upset you."

Alexander didn't answer, he simply waved to Eumennes to get out.

The king tried to focus on another law but he couldn't concentrate. He couldn't stop thinking about the fact that Hephaistion wasn't jealous, when he, himself, was each and every time he heard that Hephaistion had passed a night with someone else when he was on campaign. He always asked Hephaistion if it was or ever had been more than just about sex but Hephaistion, on the other hand had never talked about Alexander's bedroom activities. Now, having heard Eumennes 'lecture' this lack of concern on Hephaistion's part worried him. He studied his ring and shuddered at the recollection of how Hephaistion had been so afraid of loosing him to Roxanne. As he watched the light play off the stone he smiled at the remembrance; but his smile faded away as he reminded himself that it was years already ago, since that night; Hephaistion had shown no such insecurities towards him since then.

Time passed and Bagoas entered the room and asked what fragrance Alexander wanted for his bath. Alexander answered he would take his bath at Hephaistion's He'd decided sometime ago to spend the night with his lover and to find out more about Hephaistion's apparent lack of jealousy. Bagoas bowed as he bit his lips in frustration. Alexander noticed the familiar gesture that always betrayed Bagoas' jealousy. Hell, he even knew Bagoas was full of jealousy when he passed the night with Hephaistion or Roxanne but with Hephaistion, he had no clue. As Bagoas left, he thought about his wives, all were jealous too, Roxanne, was the worst of them all. Alexander stoop up and left for Hephaistion's office. He had to know more.

When he entered the small Spartan office, Hephaistion was at his desk, working. He was so focused that he didn't hear Alexander enter and he jumped in surprise when two strong arms wrapped around him from behind and he felt a gentle kiss on his cheek.

"Surprised?"

"I didn't hear you." said Hephaistion with a smile as he kissed the inside of Alexander's right forearm.

"I have time tonight, and I am going to spend the entire evening until morning with you, my love"

Hephaistion was still looking at the papers in front of him. "It is a nice idea Alexander, but I can't tonight. You gave me this mountain of work to do for tomorrow morning's meeting and I'm not done yet. I'll probably be busy all night with it."

Alexander was unhappy with Hephaistion's answer to his proposition. "Well then, I give you one more day to finish it so we can spend the night together." He kissed him on the neck this time.

Hephaistion moaned. "No, Alexander, I don't need or want a delay, I can do it for tomorrow besides the generals are expecting it for tomorrow anyway! You'll have to find someone else to keep you company."

Alexander broke his embrace to Hephaistion quite upset by the comment. He couldn't believe what Hephaistion had just proposed.

"I don't want to be with someone else. I want to be with you." He insisted.

"But I can't tonight!"

Alexander crossed his arms in frustration. "Fine! I'll pass my night with Bagoas or Roxanne!"

Hephaistion didn't take his eyes off from his papers. He hated the emotional blackmail that Alexander had resorted to! He felt that Alexander was acting like a spoiled child not wanting to accept no as his answer.

"You sound like a spoiled boy, Alexander. I have work, work that you gave me to do."

"And I told you, I can give you a delay, Hephaistion."

"I don't want your delay, Alexander, Crateros will think I'm unable to do it on time and I got a reprieve for my ineptness because I am your lover"

" I don't care about what Crateros thinks, Hephaistion!"

"I care, Alexander. I care."

"I see! So you care more about your pride than spending time with me!"

Hephaistion stopped writing and finally looked up at him.

"Alexander, I will have plenty of time tomorrow. You must know that since I am now your chilliarch I have more to do and more to prove to those who think me worthless."

"So you prefer me to pass the night with someone else and finish your damn work than enjoy the night with me?"

"I would prefer spending the entire night making love to you, Alexander. This night and all nights. Days too if I could, but it will have to be tomorrow night, Alexander. I just cannot see you tonight." Insisted Hephaistion, sincerely; his voice as cold as the ice.

"Fine! Your report and research had better be perfect for tomorrow, Hephaistion. I'll not tolerate you slacking off." Alexander scolded the beleaguered man as he rushed like a madman out of Hephaistion's office.

Once Alexander was gone Hephaistion put his face in his hands. Why was everything so complicated with Alexander lately. First, he really didn't appreciate Alexander's spoiled attitude toward him. Second, ever since he was named chillarch, Crateros was always waiting for him to make mistakes or for the proof of Alexander's favoritism so that he could attack him. He was under enormous pressure now that he was second in command. He always had to be perfect, to give the best of himself. He was proud of his new position but the constant pressure threatened to consume him. Now, as busy as he was, he needed to take a little break to calm himself down. He had done his best to not yell at Alexander for his attitude and using such petty emotional blackmail as threatening to spend the night with Roxane or Bagoas. Hephaistion was angry, he had felt cornered and now Alexander was again sharing his bed with some one other than him. He sighed deeply as he felt his jealousy rise again. He was almost about to leave his office to tell Alexander to not sleep with one of them but after a deep breathe he thought it wasn't a good idea. If he did not have his report completed for tomorrow, it would not only be bad for himself but also discredit Alexander's choice when he chose him to be a chilliarch Alexander was not as loved as before and now as the second in command, if he failed Alexander, it would give Alexander's enemies another opportunity to attack him. He recalled Aristotle's words to convince himself it was the better choice to stay in his tent and work.

"_Excess in all things, is the undoing of men, that is why we Greeks are superior, We practice control of our senses, moderation, we hope (...)When men lie together in lust, it is a surrender to the passions, and does nothing for the excellence in us, nor does any other, excess Cassander, jealousy among them, but when men lie together and knowledge and virtue are pass between them, that is pure, and excellent when they compete to bring out the good, the best in each other, this is the love between men, that can build the city state and lift us from our frog pond." _

Hephaistion thanked Aristotle for his good lessons and now could focus again on his work. He set aside his jealousy, and replaced it with a deep hurt at the thought of Alexander in another persons arms.

Alexander didn't pass the night with Bagoas or Roxanne, instead he passed the night being angry at Hephaistion. Jealousy! He thought. He wasn't at all, not in the least; Hephaistion preferred working than being with him. He cursed himself because he'd made Hephaistion his chilliarch, now that his lover was his second, they were both busy and it seemed, even more distant from each other. Hephaistion's new 'love' was his work. Then a bad shiver crossed Alexander's body as he suddenly thought about all the nasty things he heard about Hephaistion, that he was using the king to make himself higher and he was blind to not see it. Alexander suddenly panicked at the possibility this could be true. What if Hephaistion had never truly loved him and simply had just used him? He began to shake as he felt a panic attack coming. He would never be able to survive a such betrayal, then as he looked at his ring he calmed down a bit. Hephaistion loved him, he had proved it time and again through the years; but maybe, he thought, Hephaistion doesn't love him as much now. Maybe he even stopped loving him? Whatever the possibility, the doubt was there in Alexander mind and the waves of pain didn't stop as he cried all the night in fear of having been betrayed or of not being loved anymore.

The next day, Alexander was exhausted and Hephaistion was upset at the thought of his lover having sex the previous night with Bagoas. Try as he might the king was so worn down that he couldn't keep himself from yawning throughout Hephaistion's speech.

Even though Hephaistion's report and project was brilliant, Crateros saw in Alexander's apparent boredom, failure and an opportunity to attack Hephaistion. Once the meeting was done, Alexander congratulated Hephaistion for his brilliant work as usual. Crateros stayed while Hephaistion tidied up his papers.

"What are you waiting for, Crateros?" asked Hephaistion who was so upset with what had just happened.

"It wasn't that good! Alexander was yawning and even with this display he congratulated you! Your project is full of failure but since you are using him, he let it pass and still congratulates you! You are just a whore! How can you look at yourself in a mirror and be proud of yourself! But for some it's only the rank that matters, isn't it Hephaistion."

Hephaistion was about to explode. "You do not know anything about why Alexander was yawning. It was not because of any problem with my reports! He congratulated me because I deserved it! You are just jealous Crateros. I pity such feelings!"

Crateros saw that Hephaistion was about to lose his temper and continued to attack. They were soon fighting and insulting each other harshly in front of the large group of people who heard their raised voices and came to see the fight.

Few minutes later, Perdicass showed up at Alexander's tent to inform him that Crateros and Hephaistion was fighting furiously. Alexander asked what had happened and Perdicass said something about Crateros having insulted Hephaistion but he has no more details except that Crateros had indeed started it. Alexander's blood boiled. If Hephaistion's pride was under attack the man could turn into a whirlwind of fury. But what about him? Alexander cursed Hephaistion under his breath, he could sleep with the entire world and Hephaistion did not care. His damn work! His damn pride, but his damn pride is not suffering if he, his lover is sleeping with others! That he doesn't care thought Alexander angrily as he barged out of the room consumed with anger.

"Crateros! Hephaistion! what is the meaning of this display?" he yelled "I already told you both that I will not tolerate this petty infighting! I could kill you both without a thought and I am thinking of it! Both of you apologize to each other right now!"

Hephaistion shook his head and crossed his arms. "He insulted me and my work Alexander."

"I don't care who started it or why! Both of you apologize right now or you both will regret it." Alexander leveled a death glare at Crateros.

"I'm sorry, Hephaistion." He said as he extended his hand to Hephaistion. Despite having to apologize Crateros still felt victorious. He'd brought Hephaistion to the edge of anger and he was quite happy with himself. He made no attempt to hide from Hephaistion that he was not sincere.

"Hephaistion!" ordered Alexander in the face of the stubbornness his lover was exhibiting.

"I, did 'nothing' wrong." Hissed Hephaistion as he came closer to Crateros in order to shake hand.

"I am sorry, General Crateros."

"So, friends again, ehh?" said Crateros. Hephaistion felt humiliated. Crateros wasn't at all embarrassed, the truth was Crateros had trapped him and he fallen for it. Once again made the king's silly fool.

"Friends again." He mumbled loud enough for Alexander to hear him. They shook their hands.

"Fine!" Alexander looked at Crateros and said "Next time, I'll have you executed, the both of you!" Alexander was very angry at Crateros and understood he hadn't been completely honest; then he turned to Hephaistion and his anger erupted when he saw the look of disdain on Hephaistion face.

"And you! Without me, 'you' are nothing! Do not forget that Hephaistion!" spat Alexander as he stormed from the tent surrounded by a stunned crowned.

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

**fic: we might as well be strangers 2/2**

so here is the second part of that fic! The final part of second chance should be post tonight or tomorrow morning. Thank you for all the reviews and I hope you will like this last part too.

VERO

Title: We might as well be strangers ½

Authors : veronique

Email address:kyomine2002yahoo.fr

Category:romance/angst

Pairing: Alexander/Hephaistion

Date:18/08/2005

Feedback: please, but if you don't like it, be constructive , I don't want to read sarcasm or snarks.

Archive: if you want I'm okay

Rating:nc 13

Disclaimer: I don't own them. They're characters belonging to Warner Brothers Pictures, to Oliver Stone, to my imagination, and to the ages. This is a work of a fan, done for no remuneration save the satisfaction of the work.

Special thanks to Rothalion ;) .

Summary: My take on the infamous line of Alexander to Hephaistion " you are nothing without me".

We might as well be strangers 2/2

Everybody had left the room except Hephaistion, who was still in shock. He couldn't believe Alexander had just said such damning words to him. It couldn't have happened, but it had. Alexander had told them all, that he was nothing. Hephaistion's shock was now being replaced by a violent anger. How his lover, could have treated him like that in front of all of his peers, dismissing him as a mere pawn and to the point of giving all his support to Crateros, to so easily reduce him to nothing! Hephaistion exited the tent and headed straight to Alexander's. The guards let him pass because Alexander hadn't ordered them not to let him pass. Alexander sat on the floor petting Peritas, trying to find some solace in the dog' s coarse fur. The sudden rush of Hephaistion for once scared the dog away. Alexander looked up at Hephaistion who was more furious than he'd ever seen him before. The angry man approached Alexander so rapidly that he was unable to move before Hephaistion started to talk.

"How dare you tell me that I am nothing without you Alexander!" He was yelling. "Crateros, is the one who attacked me and you are the one who killed me! You know I have always worked hard for you and your kingdom, and your crazed dreams. By the gods at least I thought you knew!"

Alexander finally stood up. He stared at him and tried to figure out how to erase Hephaistion's anger. He paled in Hephaistion glare.

"Hephaistion."

"I thought that all I have achieved, I achieved by my merits, and you ! You ... I despise you, Alexander! I trusted you, all these years you told me I was your equal! Such bullshit, you are a liar Alexander who cares only about himself! Such selfish prick, I wonder why did it take so many years to finally see the light!"

Alexander was now growing angry. "It's me who took so long to see the light Hephaistion! Everybody was telling me what kind of person you were but I never wanted to believe them!"

"Oh and what kind of person am I Alexander!"

"You know you have only used me all this time to get what you wanted, more and more power! My mother warned me! I should have listen her."

"Your mother is driven by jealousy Alexander."

" Yes! It is because she cared for me!"

"And I never wanted power Alexander, all I have ever wanted was to be allowed to see the world and you! How foolish I was!"

"You are a liar Hephaistion! You care nothing for me!"

" Have you lost your mind Alexander?" Hephaistion screamed. His voice trembling with hurt and sadness.

"No! The only thing that really matters to you is your damn pride! Of course you had to fight with Crateros, he dared touched what you love the most in the world: yourself, and your pride!"

"You dare to talk to me about my pride because I fought back when Crateros insulted me! Look at yourself first! It was not me who killed Cleitos because he said things that you didn't want to hear about, because he attacked 'your' pride!"

Alexander was deeply hurt by Hephaistion's words, he was still unable to forgive himself for what he had done to his old dear friend.

"OH, that's really you! Now you are using Cleitos! You never liked him, you are a sad hypocrite Hephaistion!"

"Yes, I never like him but you did! And 'you' killed him, you killed everything you love! Or is it really 'love' Alexander? You don't know really know what loves means do you!"

"Like you would know! I have never met someone as cold and bitter in my life as you, Hephaistion! Everybody calls you the 'cold bastard'»

"Everybody or your generals! Because if you go talk to my men, Alexander, or the Persians I work with they'd tell a far different tale. As for you having never met someone as cold as me! Hah! Think about your dear mother!"

"Do not insult my mother, Hephaistion."

"Oh, I'm not insulting her! She probably became what she is now because of how Phillip treated her! I can't blame her! And you know what Alexander? She is wrong about one very important detail though, you are most assuredly the son of Philip. Son of a god, you make me laugh!"

"My father is Zeus!" Alexander hissed at Hephaistion moving closer to the furious general.

"I have never bought that horse shit Alexander and you know it! You are the overbearing, prideful, mortal, son of 'Philip'! You should be more proud of this that being a son of Zeus, Alexander! You ego is damning you to fall and fall hard."

"Get out!" Alexander ordered.

"Yes, I'm leaving Alexander, now and forever. We are finished, Alexander!"

"Fine, Fine! I am glad that this fool game of love with you is finally over."

Before leaving Hephaistion took off his medallion and threw it at Alexander feet's violently. Now his anger was replaced by the searing pain of loss and with a sudden loss of control of his voice tears began to roll unchecked down his cheeks. Weakly he said. "I have never stopped loving you, you bastard! How could you have done that to me, I have always believed in you. You…my life Alexander, my entire life is yours... was yours" Then he exited the room, trying to hide his tears from the people who were looking at him stumbling straight to his tent.

Alexander just fell to the floor as Hephaistion left him with this last words of love and hurt. All his anger had left as quickly at it has risen earlier and now he too was crying. He felt like his heart was going to explode. It so badly physically hurt as if Hephaistion had actually torn from within it. He had just lost his Hephaistion and he didn't know how to handle the despair that was invading him. Crushed he muttered "I love you so much you asshole." and he began to cry harder.

Soon rumors about the huge fight in the royal tents began to spread. Alexander ordered his guards that he didn't want to see anyone and Hephaistion had chased away his pages. Confused and frightened they sought out help and were now telling Perdicass and Ptolemy that Hephaistion was packing and that he was crying.

"I can't believe what just happened occurred so quickly!" said Perdicass.

"I'm worried, Perdicass. Alexander won't see anybody yet I feel I need to go to him. I have to try."

" Yes, and I'll try to stop Hephaistion from leaving. I cannot believe that he really wants to leave, something is wrong in all of this." Ptolemy nodded in agreement and the two men parted to attempt some resolution.

Hephaistion laid down in his bed, he wanted to rest before leaving. He didn't know where he would go and he didn't care. He was numb now. He cried so much and yet he still felt so much pain. He hated himself for still loving so Alexander after how his lover had treated him. He recalled their fight and the numerous hideous things they had said to each other. He couldn't believe he had attacked Alexander with Cleitos' death. He felt ashamed on the one hand and then was telling himself the bastard deserved to be attacked with the truth of that dreadful event. Hephaistion still could not conceive of Alexander betraying him in a such way. Now, he thought, 'I am really nothing.', He given his entire life to Alexander and until now he had never regretted it.

Few tents away Alexander was not in any better shape than Hephaistion. He refused to talk to Ptolemy .He even thought of walking away from his kingship, to go somewhere… not back to his mother for sure, but somewhere he just didn't know where. He didn't want to be king anymore, he felt numb. He wanted to run away. He too recalled the horrible fight they just had and he couldn't believe it had been so ugly. In his hand he held Hephaistion's medallion. Hephaistion, who said such horrible things, who didn't care about him, who was not even jealous but who only worked with a blind dedication for him and his kingdom. Alexander felt badly, no matter what happened, even if Hephaistion had used him or didn't love him anymore, he recognized that he had attacked and humiliated Hephaistion about something Hephaistion had always be genuine and true about. He did deserved his rank for all that he had done, for his merits. His anger and confusion had led him to be unfair, just as it had when he'd killed Cleitos, Hephaistion had not been wrong about in calling him out on it.

Alexander sighed deeply as he stood up, this was a grievance he had to apologize for or he would regret it forever, even if Hephaistion and him were over. He couldn't do that to Hephaistion who had always worked so hard for him. He tumbled his thoughts over and over in his mind, his train of thought drove him to the conclusion that never, not a single time had Hephaistion ever used his position as Alexander's lover to gain power or rank. If he had done it, Hephaistion would never have had to work so hard. He felt foolish and miserable. In fact he was not only desperate because the love of his life had stopped loving him but that he lashed out at Hephaistion in public. Humiliated him, destroyed him.

Alexander exited his tent to see it was dark outside, probably the middle of the night already. He went to Hephaistion's tent and hesitated before entering. Hephaistion, wasn't asleep and glared at Alexander through tear reddened eyes. Despite his anger he was surprised to see Alexander with the same red eyes.

"What do you want?" he said harshly.

Alexander didn't know how to begin. "I am sorry." He started but Hephaistion gave no sign of sympathy to ease him in his task, instead he maintained a cold glare for his former lover. Alexander continued. "I was driven by jealousy and the fact you don't love me any longer. I attacked and humiliated you when you are not at fault! You are the chilliarch because of your merits and it had nothing to do with you as my lover! It never had been. My broken heart allowed my anger to get the better of me to allow me to punish you for not loving me anymore. It's true with time, love fades and I should not have told you such false and horrible things because, your love for me has cooled over time."

Alexander was miserable and tears rolled down again as he had explain his actions.

"I'm not asking you to forgive me, it's unforgivable, but please Hephaistion don't quit your work as my chilliarch. My kingdom needs you and the king, such as I am won't know how to continue without your counsel and skills as for Alexander he is nothing without you that is the truth, Hephaistion and he is only asking for your friendship because if you leave I.. I" Alexander couldn't continue he just fell on his knees "Hephaistion!"

Hephaistion stood up from the bed in shock, he had listened to Alexander and couldn't believe what Alexander had just said about his real motives for the harsh words he had said to him earlier. His heart was beating frantically as he knelt down near Alexander and took his hands in his.

"Look at me, Alexander." He whispered, unable to coax more than that from his voice.

Alexander obeyed, as their eyes met, Alexander wanted to hold his Hephaistion but he didn't do it.

"Why did you think I wasn't in love with you anymore? That my love faded away? Explain that to me Alexander." Hephaistion shook his head, he was so confused.

"You prefer working more than passing time with me." Started Alexander and didn't have time to continue as Hephaistion interrupted him.

"I told you yesterday…" and this time it was Alexander who interrupted him again.

"And you are not jealous! I could sleep with the old world and you would never say a word about it, don't you care! When you love someone you care about that! When you gave me my ring it was because you were afraid to lose me to Roxanne, and now, you prefer working even if I threaten to sleep with someone else. I'm jealous of your work, the time you put into it. I'm jealous of all the people who you could have kissed because I love you and you are just not..."

Hephaistion shook his head. His Alexander could be so lost sometimes, so insecure. He put his hand on Alexander cheeks lovingly.

"I never stopped loving you, Alexander. You are the love of my life never think otherwise. It's not that I not jealous, it's just that jealousy doesn't bring good things from human beings; remember what Aristotle said about it. I just didn't want to be controlled by such a destructive feeling. I'm not happy when you are in other's arms Alexander, trust me in that. I cannot give in to it though Alexander, it would be a slow death for me. I know and I trust that you will never let them take my place in your heart. You have always showed me that I was your only one true love and made certain that I believe I will always come first in your heart and it is enough for me to be secure and not falling into jealousy and risk destroying what we have! The purest and deepest love in the world"

Alexander felt foolish but also so loved he crumbled into Hephaistion's arms and held him tightly.

"I'm so sorry, I love you so much, I lost my mind when I thought you'd gone."

Hephaistion broke the embrace and looked into Alexander wet eyes.

"No, it's me who should be sorry and I am also at fault. You never failed to show me that nobody could replace me in your heart but I stopped showing you. I care when you are sharing your bed with others. I was wrong, not you, me! I should have showed my feelings for you better and you are right my pride is too sensitive and too important at times."

"So is mine." said Alexander

"We have to work on it then."

Alexander nodded.

"I love you my Hephaistion, I don't know how I could have be driven so crazy with this lack of jealousy so easily, I feel so stupid."

"Don't, it's the Alexander I fell in love with, the passionate, insecure and at the same time so strong, Alexander"

"You make me strong, Hephaistion, I'm nothing without you." Alexander repeated again to make sure he made amends for what he said to Hephaistion in front everybody earlier.

"And you were right, I'm nothing without you too! If I hadn't been your lover, I never got a chance to prove my merits, another wouldn't have listened to me, you gave me that chance, honestly, and without your love Alexander, I could not be chilliarch but it's doesn't matter, I could be a simply soldier it would be the same. Your love is the only thing I need."

"It is the same for me." said Alexander. Hephaistion caressed Alexander's cheek again and then kissed him on the lips. They were both relieved and happy when they broke the kiss.

"Never part from me again." said Alexander as he placed Hephaistion's medallion in his lover's neck.

"Never, and if something is wrong, we have to talk about it right away."

"I think we can schedule our work to spend more time together, we have been apart too much this past months and I missed you so much. I want to be with you always."

Hephaistion smiled. "This is a such good idea my Alexander, I can only approve."

"Hephaistion." Alexander said seriously.

"Yes"

"I won't ever bed Bagoas again."

"You don't have to…"

"I want to, I will explain it to him. I care about him but when I sleep with him it is more about lust, I'm ashamed about that."

"There's nothing to be ashamed of, sometimes there are people we meet and it's just lust."

Alexander frowned. "Have you met a lot of people that brought you to such lustful desires?"

Hephaistion laughed. "Quit, Alexander jealousy does not become you right now!»

"You know, I'm not that jealous anyway, besides Aristotle was right look at what might of happened if…"

Alexander stopped to talking when he felt Hephaistion's hand began to stroke him and his mouth began teasing his ear lobe.

Later they asked to not be disturbed for two days. So for two entire days they talked, made love tenderly and rediscovered on another again.

Ptolemy and Perdicass were happy to see everything was going to run smoothly again. They knew though that Crateros and Eumenes who were sulking were not happy that their plan had failed.

The end.


End file.
